irrelevant

* while doing laundry, I was complaining to myself about the fact that my son leaves all his dirty clothes inside out. The 2 shirts are still layered together, leaving me to pull them apart. I find lego after lego falling out of the clothes. Grrr. Then it hits me. He's 8. In another 8 years, he'll be 16. He will be so close to being out of the house and doing this on his own. These 8 years have gone so fast, I can't imagine the next 8. I'll stop complaining. I'm nearly half way done doing his laundry.

No more griping. Just appreciate.

* my youngest could possibly be in part time school next year for pre-k.

No, no.... not yet.

*when my husband is always traveling, there is usually something I really don't want to do, that I'm kind of waiting and leaving for him. Finally, I can't wait any longer. I give myself a pep talk. If I didn't have him in my life, I would have to do this.. no matter how gross or scary or "guy-ish" it is. I finally convince myself I am woman enough to handle it, and I do it. While sitting at the sink doing dishes, trying to give myself this pep talk about a project needing work, I stopped. NO! I DO have him in my life. So why am I having to pretend I don't. I won't!! I am married, and I'm going to use it.

The project is still waiting. :)

*I think I'm going back to school.

I think.

*I look at my daughter, and realize she's not so little anymore. She has moments where I just see someone so much more mature than should be. Someone longing for love and acceptance, but also her place in life (which in her world is IN CHARGE). I love seeing her emerge into this little person.

Beautiful.

*I'm trying to convince my daughter that when I turn on cartoons in the morning and cuddle up with her on the couch, and then proceed to fall asleep that it's just because I just want to spend time with her 'cause I love her.

Not because I'm lazy. OR a bad mom. Right?

*I realized I really only do my thinking in the shower. Maybe that's why my showers are never shorter than 20 minutes. Maybe that's why the days I don't shower, I just don't get things done, or function well. I never turned on my brain. But when I get in there, I can't stop myself from thinking. I've tried. I stress myself out when I try.

Not so normal. Is it? Mhmm.

*Love doing homework with my kids. The fact that they are doing homework. That we are doing it together. Why?!? I guess if you knew me in my later years of school, I didn't do enough of it. Maybe, just maybe I'm making up for that now.

Check back in 5 year and we'll see what I say then.

*Would drop everything if I could to go to Haiti and just serve the relief effort. I want to be there, tangibly helping. It's not just there. I'd love to go to Africa and help. I'd love to adopt an entire third world orphanage and rescue them all. I'd love to be a doctor and go serve medical missions. Oh, the good you can do.

Maybe I really should have done better in school!

*Love taking pictures. Hate the fact that it's a growing process. It takes practice, and finding who you are first in the pictures you take. I just want it all now. I sometimes feel like I'm starving for it, because I don't have it all now.

NOW

*Just felt like sharing some of the thoughts going through my mind today (although I thought there were a lot more, until I started writing this at... Akkk 1 in the mornig). Why not? I'm the only one who hears them, or I guess whoever might be on the phone with me. So now it's out there for everyone.

Fascinating, isn't it.

:)

pitter patter, drop

That's how it all started today. Just a little here and there, and then whoosh right back into the down pour we seem to know all too well here. Some days I welcome this weather. I actually enjoy it. But today, no. Not so much. Maybe it was dragging three kids out to the car to get home from church. Maybe it was the darkness that came with it when I was already so tired, but didn't have a husband to help relieve the responsibility. Maybe, it just wasn't supposed to be a rainy day in my mind. But thats okay. It rained, it poured, and we all survived. Just please let there be sun tomorrow! (that and i can finally start editing some photos i've been dying to get to. That always makes for a happier day!)

Toodles!

Last of our kids

Poor thing is always last! So this catches us up to date. Yay! Here are the last three weeks of Ase. Lets see if I can actually get THIS week without missing any days! And I promise to not bombard you with these constantly. After this you should only see these every Friday.

* and just to clarify for all those poor confused souls out there... this is my 365 project, and the other one is my 12 on 12 project. I know. A little bit of the same things all at once, so I'm sorry! The 12 on 12 is more just for fun, and for me (one day, 12 pictures). The 365 is something I'm actually going to make the kids books out of, and it's really only for them (a single picture every day of the year). Although I'm sure I'll appreciate it more than they will! So you'll have to bear with me while I do both of these projects. I really wanted to take on more that would make sure I picked up that camera every day, and document the smaller things. So why start small... just start them all! haha. I think that's my new theme this year. Home projects, service projects, photo projects, school projects -why start small... just start them all.

Bring it on 2010!

Impatient

I did say I was going to post the next set today. Right? Well, my daughter couldn't stand not seeing her's yet. She LOVES these, and wanted her's made right away. And did I mention I can't get her to Not pose for the camera? The one who always runs from the camera, waits for me to pull it out for these. Good thing I'm not going for top quality photos here! She cracks me up. So here I sat, with a million other things I would like to do (like say, shower), creating her pages. It was good though. Frees up my evening.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

*wink*

A picture a day

is quite the undertaking. It's one of the things I've been working on this year. Which has actually turned out to be really quite fun. So far, I've missed only 3 days, which I don't find to be that bad. 1 a week! That, and I'm not looking for hang on the wall quality per say. Just something to document them that day.

So I'm finally getting these up. Today are bugs. Week 1, 2 and 3 (well, actually you'll be looking at them as weeks 3, 2 and 1). Tomorrow it will be Nutmeg's turn, and Sat I'll get the youngest. Then hopefully I'll keep up with them and not have to stay up all night putting pictures in a collage!

having difficulties

(getting in the car coming home from Walmart)

Me: "Ase, buckle up"

Ase: hides in the backseat

Me: "Really Ase, buckle up now so we can go"

Ase: More giggling

Me: "I'm going to start counting..... 1.....2....

Ase: "Mom, why are you being so difficult? Really. You are being so difficult. "

Me: "uh, what?!?!"

My Jauary 12 on 12

Inspired by a blogger friend (it's a one sided relationship, but I'm okay with that!) to try this, I had to give it a go. I have many photo projects I'm working on this year, but thought squeezing in one more wouldn't hurt. On the 12th of each month you take 12 photos, kind of journaling the day. And of course, there are 12 months, so it all works together with perfect symmetry. Now if only my days could be so well planned! So here was today. Happy 12th! By December, I can't wait to see the results. And hopefully, I will start before 3pm the day of!

As for what I did, lets see if I can list it, or at least some:

*woke up at 6:40. Right on time. The kids were both up and happy already. Great start.

*got the kids off to school

*worked on laundry, and then more laundry

*got the youngest in the tub

*organized and cleaned

*finished painting and hung paintings in the hall

*still working on the stairs. beginning to think the project will NEVER end.

*had Pandora running for most of the time on my phone.

*kids came home from school

*started working on homework

*took the garbage out and saw a glimpse of the sun. Very happy moment.

*read books with the kids

*put away another section of Christmas. Should be done tomorrow. Worst part of Christmas

*fixed tacos. One of my favorite dinners from growing up

*fed the fish. haven't forgotten a night yet

*got the kids to bed. thank you.

*read a book just for me. hasn't happened in a very long time

*went to bed WAY too late. dreading the wake up in the morning.

it's all in an outfit

I know. I've disappeared.

Trust me, I've been looking.

I think I found myself though. And I was back into these clothes. My painting/staining/home improvement "outfit". Maybe not attractive, but looks good to me. So many things on the list that are finally getting crossed off. Stairs are nearly done. Halls painted, pictures hung. Basement light fixed, under counter light fixed. 4 light switches and an outlet changed out and repaired. Garage cleaned out. Christmas nearly down. Girls room reorganized. Closet getting overhaul. If you showed up, you'd still think I was mia. The house is torn apart. But it's good. It's okay. It's has to get worse before it gets better. At least, thats the way we do it around here. That's the way I do it. There were way too many things I wanted to getting working on and felt like a bird looking for the perfect worm to start the day. So I didn't pick one. Instead, a bite of all I see. I'm just starting a little in all of them. Crazy backwards, I know. But there you have it. If you're lucky enough to find me, I might look like this. Don't be scared. It's still me. And hopefully, I will be back soon. This attire is exhausting me.