Something bright for a dull day

It's been amazing here lately. Remember back when I was loving the grey days? Well, we've had grey days ever since. In fact, last Saturday we had tornados, as you probably already have heard. 14 of them to be exact, and still counting. Yup. But I think they sucked all the sun out of this place along with the warmth. We are at a couldy 63 degrees today, which is chilly for this place right now and tomorrow has more thunder storms in tow. Last Easter we were outside taking easter pictures on the green grass next to the green plants in the warm sunny weather. I think we'll have to get more creative this year. And I told Matt I didn't want to move to Seattle for the lack of sun! I guess we really should enjoy it while it's here though, because in a couple of months we are going to be BEGGING for that cooler weather to come back! On the bright side though, look what I was still able to find. Looking at this it doesn't seem to gloomy after all does it?!

Looking out and up

I was just thinking about something. Fancy that! I think I"m okay with getting older. Really.

Probably starting around in high school, we seem to want to make ourselves different. We want to find ourselves. We want others to see what it is that we have found about us. So we wear the goofy headband (to stand out), we wear the newest trend (to show we are ahead of everyone else), we wear what's not in style (to show we don't care), we act spoiled, like a clown, reserved, we get the good grades, we get the bad grades, we skip out on class, we become teachers pet, overly involved in activies, or not involved at all.... you could metion just about everything and anything here. Why?

We long to find who it is that we are. We also want to show this off, because somehow in doing that, we think it will further define who we are. But notice how that doesn't ever seem to stand up in time? If only we knew all these "masks" were having the opposite effect. The harder we try to show who we are, the less we really are showing. However there is something that happens through the years to all of us. Atleast those of us who are willing to let it happen.

We find ourselves. Our true selves.

Somthing only time can help us to accomplish. It seems that most of us find who we really are, long after those years in which we knew. We relax. We aren't so worried about showing who we are, allowing what inside to venture out. Look at all those men and women out there you admire. How old are they? 20? Usually not. Try 30, or 40. 50 or 60. It doesn't matter. It seems the more time, the more sure of who they really are. There are always those who were able to find this in themselves after a short amount of time here in this life, but for the rest of us, time is on our side. Really. Every year draws us closer to that moment of meeting, when the surface meets the inner you. I love every year, as I let my guard down and realize more and more of who I really am.

It's amazing. And I can't wait until I watch my daughters find out who they really are, and share it with the world. This is after all a big part of what we are here for.

Bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubbles

Have you ever seen those bubbles that don't pop? They have some type of plastic in them, so when you blow them, they don't pop like the regular bubbles do. They form their bubble, and stay there. They will stay for days if you leave them alone. You have to actually poke one, or smash it to get them to pop. They are great. My kids absolutley love them.

Especially Ase.

She loves that she actually able to catch these ones. So being the good big brother he is, Bug asked if he could blow some bubbles for the girls. "Sure" I replied, glad to have them entertained while I did the dishes. Next thing I know, Ase is repeating "Uh-Oh" in a very concerned fashion. I walk out to see what is going on, and could do nothing more than grab the camera... then the vacuum. The entire rug in the family room was covered with bubbles. I had a hard time getting any pictures with the lighting in the room, but you can see there are more than just a few here. This is what the entire rug looked like. It was crazy. Luckily I did find out the white film they leave behind does vacuum up. Otherwise we'd all still be sitting there picking it out. Whew!

The best part about the whole thing though, is I snapped this picture of Ase. I love her big brown eyes. It's hard to capture what they really look like, and I think this might have done the trick!

One last cup?

It was just one of those days. The days where you don't do anything.

Literally.

It's now way past bed time and the only thing I've done today is feed the kids 3 meals. I won't say they were great meals. But they were meals. No showers. No baths. No getting dressed. No cleaning. No venturing outside of the house(heaven forbid someone saw me like this!). No answering the phone... unless you're one of the lucky ones. Nothing. Lets just say I can count the things done on one hand. So what made this day turn out like this. I know we are the ones that are in control of how our days go. So why did I choose this today and what does it mean? There has to be something hidden deep in me that would explain this. It would be nice to know, so I might learn how to possibly avoid these days.

I can't imagine all the things I could do if I were one of those ultra motivated people. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who have 7 kids, a job they work from home with, the time to volunteer for everything, manage to have a to-do list with only 3 items on it, showered, worked out, eaten 3 full meals, and will still have sex before they go to bed. Hair and make-up always look great, they never forget a birthday or appointment, and will call you back withing an hour of leaving them a message.

Nope. That's not me. You aren't my friend because of any of these traits. You are my friend because, well... I'm me. I do have a day or two where I pull this off, but that's all I can manage. That's okay. I don't know that I'd want that life. I just wish I knew what caused these days. Maybe I'll try to figure it out tomorrow. Or maybe not. It'll be awhile before I get that far down on my to-do list! Until then, I'll be the one who knows how to sit down to a cup of hot chocolate, the final one until next winter, and not feel guilty about it. Anyone want to join me? No guilt here, just a good relaxing time of doing nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Until the next day of nothing - enjoy.

Perfect and perfectly Grey

Today really was one of those perfect days. Not because of what was there, but maybe because of what wasn't. Many times I kept finding myself just sitting out on the front porch and just being. Not anything in particular, just being. Days like today seem to almost always bring these feeling out in me. Nostalgia. Who knows what for. Something in the past, or something in the future. Or maybe, it's just nostalgia for the exact moment your are in.




The sky was grey. Really grey. There wasn't any color to it. Even the clouds took on a hue of grey, with enough contrast so as not to blend in with the sky. Any they were traveling very quickly to wherever they were going. But it didn't seem to matter any, because there were always just as many to follow behind and fill the what would have been left as empty sky. Down on the ground there wasn't any wind at all. It was calm, as if everything were in a deep and peaceful sleep. The air was moist and cool, but not at all cold. And the ground stayed wet all day, although barely a drop of rain fell upon it. In the distance you could hear a low rumble. Distant enough to make you wonder if it was just a plane passing through, or maybe it really was thunder after all. It was all perfect!



I tried to take pictures, because I just didn't want to let this moment pass. I wanted to be able to hold on to it. But Grey with grey with grey just doesn't translate the same on film. Unfortunate really. I did come up with a couple I liked (the first one is one of my favorites), but there aren't many. Maybe if I really knew what I was doing with the camera I could have come up with something cool, but it is what it is! Either way, I love these days. And to top it all off, inbetween my wanderings on the porch outside, I cleaned. I really cleaned. Bleached most of the house down. It felt good. Half the main floor is done. Tomorrow I will conquer the rest. Too bad there's supposed to be snow. I think I might enjoy another grey day to go along with it all. Sigh. -but that's a content sigh non-the-less! Funny how much the weather really can and does affect us "weather" we like it or not....lol!

Spring in February

These are one of the reasons I love living in Georgia. I mean, really. Most of this country has no idea how good it is to move on from winter to see the flowers in February. It's been 70 degrees outside the last couple of days.

Never mind we are going to have a snow flurry tomorrow. Even those are pretty feeble here. Winter is great, for a month. You hunker down, pull out the sweaters and blankets. Start the logs in the fire, and pull out all the mugs.

But after about a month of that, or less with kids, you're done.




And it seems that around here, when you get to that point and say "I'm done" someone listens.

The sky opens up and starts to pour out the sunshine. The flowers start to creep out the the buds start growing on the trees. Now is the time you will see all of us out here doing our gardening, getting things ready. Blowing the sprinklers out just in case they ever lift the ban on outdoor watering. Doing the final trim on the dogwoods so they'll bloom just perfectly. I love it! Ahhh! Makes me want to actually get out there and do yard work.

Who knows. Maybe I'll be posting pictures of the outside of our house for once!




And of course the kids love it outside too. They can't wait to get out there and play every day. And lucky for me they are getting old enough they can do just that while I visit with friends, or do actually get my hands dirty. Spring is just so inspiring. So full of life. So hopefull.

Really, for me, it's just a breath of fresh air!

Sweet like Sugar

Well, it's day two with my sick husband. I think I might survive this, but I don't know if he will. It's been pretty rough. I know I'm not alone however. It seems all the blogs I read, all the emails I get, or all the phone calls I make, the other end is dealing with the flu or colds right now too. Makes the world seem a little smaller to know we're all dealing with the exact same thing. Literally. So I hope you all get feeling better!

Tonight for dinner I made pancakes for the kids. This isn't unusual for us. I'd say we have pancakes atelast once a week. Don't judge me please! We also make our own maple flavored syrup to go with it. Why spend the money to buy the other cheap stuff when we can just make it. Unless of course you are talking about the real stuff! That we will buy. Anyway, I found this recipe hidden in my stack of still-need-to-try-because-they-look-so-good-but-haven't-had-a-chance-yet recipes for vanilla syrup. It was from a friend of my grandparents. How I ever came to have this recipe I have no idea. But there it was. So I decided I'd give it a try. Can I just tell you, this was the BEST!! I couldn't get enough of it. Forget Maple syrup. You'll never want it again after tasting this stuff. I love it so much, I just had to share it with all of you. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think! Pretty good wouldn't you say?!

Homemade Syrup from the kitchen of Phylis Aldis

1 Cup Water
1 Cup White Sugar
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Bring these ingredients to a boil at med-high. Continue to boil for approx 6-8 minutes.
Add 2 Tbls butter and boil for two more minutes.
Add 2 tsp. vanilla and boil for two more minutes.
Ready to serve, so enjoy!

and Another One Bites the Dust

Matt had been gone for as long as I can remember and it starts. I was the first to get a cold. Then Bug got some flu. As soon as he was getting better Ase got the same flu Bug had. Just as soon as she started to recover, it was Nutmeg's turn. I have had two weeks of nothing but being stuck at home with sick kids. After Nutmeg started to improve I started to get sick myself. This time with the rest of the cold I fended off two weeks ago. Finally we were all starting to feel normal again today when..... Matt comes home from school early because he was so sick. He's miserably sick. And you know how guys are when they're sick. They aren't just sick. The world has stopped spinning. They are laying in bed pleading for help. No one has ever felt this horrible before. They are worse than the kids. It's his first day back in the state, and he brings this with him. And it's different then what any of us have had. If he shares this with us... so help him. He'd better get back on a plane and not come back for a very long time!

Elements in Dancing

I put on some music Saturday for the kids to dance to. They LOVE to dance to music. Nutmeg even had to go and get her "dance costume" on so she could dance. Funny how the clothing makes such a difference! I had been dancing with the girls when Bug decided he was missing out on all the fun. I was exahusted (yes, this is a sign I'm getting old) and decided I would just let Bug take it over. Little did I know he really would. Nutmeg grabbed his hands to start bopping around like we'd been doing, when he explained he was going to teach her how to "dance for real". He then placed her hand on his shoulders and his on hers. They danced around the floor like that. And every now and then he'd take her hand and twist her around, bringing her hands back to his shoulders. It was such a grown up thing for such a little kid to do. I didn't teach him this, and he didn't learn in it school (trust me I asked!) but he definitely knew how to slow dance. I grabbed the video camera for which he was very willing to perform, but naturally the battery was dead. So this was all I was able to get. Man, he's gonna get all the girls when he gets older!!

To be a kid again

I just love these photos of the kids. They are just so happy! It's not the smile-at-the-camera happy, or the smile-because-something-was-kind-of-funny happy. No, it's real genuine happiness. The kind we tend to forget when we become adults. The kind that is shoved beneath all the social "rules", all the "work", and the "reponsibility". But just think what examples we'd be setting for our kids if we were able to show them this kind of happiness. What would that tell them about life? My favorite moments are those in which I let myself be a kid again. I dare say these are probably their favorite moments too. Kids need structure, but they also need someone who can understand them. And what better to understand than to remember how to see the world through their eyes. Once there, the world is a much better place. I love it there.

Now I need to learn how to put down all those "responsibilites" just for a bit each day, to show my kids how to love and live life. I have a feeling this is much easier said than done, but something I long to relearn.

I guess the best teacher would be my kids themselves.

Now to convince myself to let go....

I was tagged (by name even... !)

Things on my To Do list...
1. Figure out how to make these dang bracelets I'm working on
2. Laundry, but I think that's a permenant list item
3. Update pictures in their frames
4. Make some returns to some stores
5. Bay the bills and update our budget

If I were suddenly a billionaire...
1. I would pay tithing (I didn't think of this first, but after reading Heather's I realized this is what I would do first, so decided it was okay to copy
2. Pay off our student loans! That might take the whole billion however
3. Put money away for the kids and our future
4. Hire a house cleaner (small fee for the relief it would provide!)
5. Definitely set up some family vacations to Europe

3 Bad Habits I have...
1. Chew the inside of my cheek when stressed
2. Stay up until all hours of the night
3. Grind my teeth at night... which I can't help... and it doesn't bother me, just Matt!

3 Places I have lived...
1. Utah (Provo, Brigham, Logan)
2. Ohio (Bay Village, West Lake)
3. Michigan (Fenton)

5 Jobs I have had...(that paid a $) (Best job is wife, mommy and friend)
1. Candy girl at Walker theatre in Perry
2. McDonalds
3. Customer Service Rep for Sprint PCS
4. Trainer Sprint PCS
5. Spokes model for Tide and Olay

6 things most people don't know about me... (I really think people know most there is to know, but I'll give it a shot)
1. I brush my teeth while in the shower... it's really much more effecient!
2. I cannot live in the color blue. I love it in other homes, just not mine.
3. I am addicted to Flavor Ice/Otter Pops. Whatever you want to call them
4. I really want to go skydiving
5. When I was younger my eyes were a silver grey color
6. I love Sherbet ice cream.

3 of my goals in the next two years...
1. Start some type of buisness
2. Have this Family Night thing down
3. Actually be consistantly working out.

I now tag...Becki and Jo

you haven't seen the last of ME

Okay, so here are the last of my "ME's" I'm going to add for awhile. They are in no particular order, but then again, they say there is always something about everything you do... so maybe there is an order I don't know about!







Without a doubt I would have to include this, because I LOVE photography. As soon as I have a free minute I'm going to learn all there is about this thing (or maybe hopefully a newer one). That, and I don't want to EVER forget those expressions on my cute little ones!









I will have to admit, I really didn't want to put this up for a long time when we first got it. I hated the frame (and yes, the glass does need to be cleaned, I know). Matt's grandma painted this, and it's the one thing he really wanted. We were lucky enough to get it, but I wanted to reframe it. Now... I wouldn't touch it. I absolutley love it!











My grandpa, "Papa", had a bell route at his house. He would take all the little kids around the house and ring all the bells, or blow on the wind chimes. It was tradition. He also had one bell he always rang for prayers before a meal. When he passed, there was nothing that would mean more than to get a bell for my family. I searched until I found the one that felt just right, and now it's part of our family!










Speaking of Papa, this is his book. I love it. I think one of the biggest reasons is because it's the as close as I have to having one of his pieces in my home. Maybe one day. That and it's filled with poetry, so I can hear his voice any time I want.










Matt really didn't want this, I really did. Guess who won! And I'm glad, because it's one of my favorite pieces.











This one I love because it's one of the first pieces of furniature I bought once married. I loved it when I found it, and I still do. There is something about making a house yours for the first time.










Okay, so I know almost everyone has one of these now, but I didn't until my birthday. Now I do!











Okay, so I just really like this candle stick. And what do you know.. good 'ol walmart.











This was made for me, and when she made it I only had 2 kids at the time. There are three on there, and I have always loved thinking about that and how some things are just meant to be!









I have an attachment to this thing. It's more than just an external hard drive. It's the only electronic that made it through our break in a while back. If I could I would take this with me everywhere I go. All of our kids pictures from day one are on that thing and we would have lost them all. Agh!




So after doing this, I realized how much I do like design/art. Because most of what I picked out quickly, had to do with this. There is a whole other layer that sometime in the future I'll dig into more. But for now, I think I'm done here! There are too many other things I want to talk about!! Have a good one.

ME.... continued

I love this door. It's going to be sad to see it go. When I find my final home, I want it to have a door like this... because it's just me.

more of ME

a little something from my past that I just can't let go of!

more of ME

A few of my favorite

I've missed you all! It's been a few days, but I just really couldn't figure out what to write about. When I don't feel good, I always have a hard time with my feelings. They become really cloudy. So I figured I'd wait the storm out.

Today while scrubbing my bathroom (okay, pick yourself up off the floor) I saw this ceramic pot and became so happy inside. I do every time I see it. I'm not sure exactly why. Maybe it's because one of my favorite people in the world gave it to me. Maybe it's because of the beautiful warm brown color (I love brown), or the simple silhouette it sets. At first, I wasn't sure where to put it. Everywhere I tried it just didn't fit right. The size was off, the color was wrong, there was nothing to compliment it. Then I found this spot on my bathroom counter and knew this was where it had to go. I felt guilty at first, putting my gift in the bathroom. I was almost embarrassed the first time she saw it there on my counter. As if I had nothing better to do with it than the bathroom. The bathroom where I would be one of the only ones who saw it. But for some reason, this is where it belonged. I 've since learned why. Every morning when I get ready for the day, it fills my heart with happiness. Every night when I get ready for bed, it fills my heart with joy. I love this little pot, and know that it will most likely always be in my bathroom where I have the chance to pass by on more than just the infrequent occasion.

This ceramic pot brought me to thinking about all those little things that bring joy into my life. I'm not talking about "moments" or "memories". I'm talking about can- buy-it-with-money things. I feel that what is in our home should be us. People should almost know who we are when they walk through the house. There is no purpose of burdening yourself down with stuff that you don't love. We all already have too much stuff. And if we buy what we love, then we will love what we have. And our walls will be a reflection of what we are inside. Obviously this doesn't mean you have to have money. Quite the opposite. If you could have an entire room from Pottery Barn, you might like it, and it would look nice. But you wouldn't love it. You didn't fall in love with it, and then have to find that perfect spot for it. You didn't have to search it out, or save up to get it. It wasn't something tucked away, that you found by chance. Just like with our friends, our emotions, our love; you only want to let the best in, and let the rest find some else to take them home!

So here's what I'm up to now. I'm gonna find those things that get me excited. Those things that create emotion every time I see them. There are so many things I do love, which I've been able to acquire through the years, but there are a select few that create emotion in me. I want to see just how many things there are. You should try it. Tell me about you, by the stuff around your house that you love. Maybe we could do this together. And don't worry. You'll know "it" when you see "it". You just have to listen. -Which may be harder than you think!

a TOMATO rain

If he could remember to say it right, you would have read "tornado rain". But he can't so you'll still read tomato. Today is the perfect rainy day (like the picture? notice the rain is pushing up over the crack? Yes, that means it's starting on it's way into my garage. I might have to do something about that). We won't mention all the tornado warnings that have been blarring from the tv all morning long. Lets just say, despite what could have been, but wasn't, it is the perfect rainy day. It's been a downpour most of the morning, the weather is warm, and as hard as the sun has tried, it can't make it past the strategic blocking the clouds have so expertly managed. And I, well I have just wanted to curl up on the couch with a good book and nothing else planned but a nap. I've come down with something, most likely just your average cold, but just can't seem to pull myself together. These are the days you wish you could just help your kids to disappear. But only for a day. I wouldn't want them gone any longer than that I don't think. Give me my day, and I'll continue to give them my every other. But to explain to an 18 month old that your throat feels like it's been so badly sunburned you are about ready to drink that aloe vera, and your nose has inhaled a whale, or something to that affect.... they don't get it. Neither does the 4 year old. Okay, maybe she gets it, but the graviational pull she has in this world is naturally more important. Bug is currently at school, but as soon as he gets home he will want some attention, no down time, no attention, no down time. I don't think he knows what he wants when he gets home. School really wears the guy out by the time he gets home. And I think I hear the grocery store calling. Or is that our stomachs from the lack of food? We can live off instant potaoes can't we? I guess we'll find out.

So I've been doing fairly good with the reading. Okay, I'll quit being so modest, I'm kicking butt right now. I'm actually ahead of the nearly 6 pages a day. Atleast a couple of days ahead. Good time to not be feeling well, because all I want to do is read. I have to brag about this now because, who knows how long I'll keep this going. I will get finished on time though. Mark my word!

Okay, well it's my down time for the day. Ase is taking her nap and Nutmeg is in her quiet time. So I have a couple of options. Eat, then nap? Eat then shower (if you could smell me this might be your vote!)? Or Eat then read? I don't know. I guess I should start with the eat and we'll see how the wind blows.

Just one more thing

So I was sent this email. A challenge as a memorial to our belated prophet Gordon B. Hinkley. To read the Book of Mormon in 97 days. That is how old our prophet was when he finally joined his wife. That's 5 pages per day. I barely made it when Hinkley challenged us to read it in a year. 97 days? So I did it. Completely lacking in confidence of myself, I did it. I decided, along with the currently over 16,000 others on this quest. It's been said this could be a "set-up" to get your information. But I figured, what is there to loose. You don't give any information out, so why not try it. What's the worst that can happen, you read the book? If this were a set up, then the jokes on them. Look at all of us who are going to be reading more than we have in a long time, while they think they are going to "get us". Bring it on! I've managed to completely de-junk and organize my house. I've managed to keep it clean for over 3 weeks straight now (with a trip in the middle of it) and if I can't do this, then none of that other stuff matters. Here is where I will find out where my priorities are. Wish me luck! No. Wait. I won't need luck. This is something I WILL do! Maybe you should too. Good night!

The only one

I don't know why I can't get this photo more clear, it really isn't supposed to be so blurry (grrr) but I just had to add in here one more time how much I love this guy. He just left for another 5 days, which I wasn't too happy about, but atleast I get to be home. I can go nearly all day without getting dressed if I want to, and the most converstaion I have to have is with the computer. Well okay, and with the kids if you count that as conversation! He is out there having to work his butt off, and still look like he's enjoying every minute of what he's doing. He has more than a 5 year olds expectations looming over him. I love him, and all he does. It was so wonderful to have him home for an entire evening. I did have to share him with the kids for part of that, but it's more than we've had in awhile. Mmmmmmm. I loved it.

Being little is only Thinking little

Today I think it hit me. She is no longer my baby.

She folds her arms by herself for prayers, and keeps them folded the entire time. She cleans up everything in sight as soon as you mention the words, "clean up". She finds an item laying around the house and then wanders around trying to find the one who it belongs to. She can now ask for help whenever she needs it. She is starting to go potty in the toilet. She laughs at herself when she thinks she did something funny. She got the dirty dishes out of the dishwasher today and set the table. She pulled me to the table asking to eat. She's just growing up.

It always suprises me when I walk by the mirror while holding her, and realize how big she really is. Other people don't see this little baby in my arms. I think I'm the only one who sees that. I called her "Ase Baby" yesterday and she was so confused. She said "baby?" wondering why I was calling her one. She has all of her baby teeth (except those 2 year molars), and will eat anything you throw at her. She loves cuddly soft things, loves baby dolls, and loves her big brother and sister. She is the happiest go lucky kid, as long as she can keep in motion. She will play with anyone who will play back, and isn't scared of anything.

Man I love that girl.